By John F. Youmans author of "Not My Child"

As the Bush twins don their new camouflaged military uniforms, they have declared they will do everything possible to assist military recruiters reach their plummeting recruitment goals. "It's the least we can do," one of the twins said. "We believe in Shared Sacrifice. It is the responsibility of everyone to support this war to defend our country from terrorists."

When asked if they would be going to Iraq, both twins shrieked, "Lord no! We haven't signed up. We are going to help others who are less fortunate to sign up." Other Bush family members are assisting. "Uncle Jeb's son George looks great in desert camouflage and he's helping," the twins said. "Noelle said the Army has lowered their drug abuse standards and she is helping them pass the drug tests. I'll ask Dad how that works."

The twins said they would begin their campaign at the Franklin County Army Recruiting station a few blocks from the White House. "We went the other day, but we didn't see anyone we knew. It was scary!" they said. "But we will go to as many poor communities as we can this summer. We know these poor unemployed people need a job and they can even earn money for a decent education."

The Young Republicans meet for their national convention July 6-10 at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas. Thousands of young war supporters will be present. What an excellent opportunity to pick up some additional military recruits. Young Republicans are being urged to "Be a man and join up." However, a group representative refused to participate in recruitment goals. “That’s got a negative tone,” the spokesman said.

With this effort by the Bush twins, Army recruiting goals are sure to surge soon. “We will even pick up volunteers in our limo, complete with Secret Service agents, to transport volunteers to the recruiting stations.,” the twins promised.